While reading Women Who Run With the Wolves, I was inspired to write about a topic most of us avoid.
 |
| The mountain we climb... |
 |
| The path we choose.. |
There comes a time in our life when we need to make a decision: live with rage or find a place to dispose of it safely and permanently. Before we can let it go, we need to recognize it for what it truly is, then contain and release it from our lives forever. I have written of the ritual of forgiveness, but before that is even possible, the origin and source of our anger needs to be identified and put into perspective. Until this is accomplished, we are destined to staying the “victim,” losing our natural power and self worth. Extreme anger and sorrow from our past keeps us from spreading our wings and flying because we need to feel safe and far away from further pain. It restrains us from going within ourselves and facing our fears, standing tall against all obstacles, and knowing we have the strength to keep climbing to understand ourselves. Anger prevents us from appreciating what we have already, to see what we already have in our life that gives us strength, gives us love, and shares our life with us. We need to remember that we are not alone. Fear keeps us from knowing this, separating us from others, protecting us from any freedom. When we hold our rage inward, it is toxic to our souls. It is like a slow fire burning us from the inside out. We can discard it, but when we do we often place it where it harms others, usually those we love. It comes out when least expected, a burning, toxic waste that slowly destroys us and those we feel safe enough with to hurt. Finding the burial ground that will rid of us from this destruction called anger takes courage and fearlessness. When we need to express our anger in order to heal from it, it needs to be done in a safe place where further destruction will not take place, consciously and intentionally. When we consciously choose to stop the pain, it is time to confront it and put it to rest. Our quest to transform our pain and our rage requires us to lift the veil of mistrust and the illusion of what we feel is our reality. Our past pain is accurate; our perception that it still exists is the illusion. We do not need to choose to recreate our past hurt and anger each time we feel unsafe, but we can choose to see it as an illusion of the present. We can choose to face and conquer our fear by first listening and being aware of our anger. Thinking ahead to how it will affect our future can give us perspective on the damage it can do to our future. After being simply aware of our rage, we can then slowly begin to heal ourselves through creating art or music, dance, exercise, prayer, travel, or volunteering. We can create new experiences where our anger is not welcome and peace replaces it. We are worth it. We are able to stop the anger. We can bury the dead waste of our anger and move on. It is time. We can make our boundaries clear and our vision limitless, by ridding ourselves of the deep burning fire of rage within us. It is not who we are, it is simply an illusion of what we believe we deserve from a past that is no more. To bury it safely is to have compassion and love for our deserving selves. It takes work to climb this mountain, heal our wounds, and move ahead. We need to take action, as it will not go away on its own. It is time to safely and intentionally release our rage and our fears. It is easy and comforting to stay silently simmering in our pain. It takes courage to say "No more. I am ready to express my inner need for peace within."
